there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
