Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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