Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Holy shit dude........stairs
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
