After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
