The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Randomize
