We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
