Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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