so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
