wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
