Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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