Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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