On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
