shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
