You smell like a Billy Joel song
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
