I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
