Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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