There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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