He is an equal opportunity slut.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
