Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
i need some magic done to my vagina
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
