There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
