Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
