My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
