Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
