this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
