So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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