I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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