But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
