so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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