i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
