You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
