Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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