just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
