Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize