Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
