There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
