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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  You're just horny.

  (1-401): View more from Rhode Island

  Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60

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• (518): View more from New York

  Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  It's like the blind leading the senile over here.

  (541): View more from Oregon

  UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.

  (810): View more from Michigan

  family traditions my good sir

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• (906): View more from Michigan

  I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.

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• (408): View more from California

  I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.

  (1-618): View more from Illinois

  I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.

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