My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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