I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
