my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
they're like a gay fantastic four
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
