That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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