So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I just found puke in my bra..
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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