Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
