Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I CAN MOONWALK!
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize