My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
