i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
you didnt know i had herpes?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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