Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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