Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
