it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
