my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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