when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
