fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
