you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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