I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize