11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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