Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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