The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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