Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
