: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
