Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
